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The Giving Up Tree

by Like The Weather

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1.
you had a dream last night of an aeroplane falling up to the moon and never coming back again all the buds are stoppered in yellow-green never getting pollinated the bees all died a year ago, and you fold paper boats and pray for dry spells and pretend that you deserve it pretend you all deserve it, and mountains blacken, beetles strip pale young leaves from the trees message must survive/be found/be understood; blood bruise tearing membranes in the sky, you take the end times on a date, you’ve got some questions: “what’s your moon and rising, will you save me, will you spare my dog?” and she just laughs a little don’t get all cynical, the way you always do we’re all crying in the same old bathroom no one will remember us, maybe that’s for the best you whimpering child you whimpering end "for your dew is a dew of light, and the earth will give birth to the dead." i miss the taste of honey more than anything i miss the taste of honey more than anything i miss the vistas blue and green and wandering i miss the vistas blue and green and wandering i miss the smell of growing grass or anything i miss the smell of growing grass or anything else i miss the buzz of bees i miss the hush of trees i miss the buzz of bees i miss the taste of honey more than anything
2.
mornings don’t sit comfortably i wish i’d rot away this isn’t suicidal i’m just tired of waiting for the day to end in flood or end in flame i’ve whimpered all i had to say so take my body away take my body, i’m not staying here my hometown’s dying slow everything’s dying slower golden hour doesn’t hit quite right on this side of the sea and i’m a sinking island, i’m a corner store i’m not living for the future; future’s dead and buried anyway take my fruit or take my fingers take my roots or strip away what lingers but i’m not looking to drown today but i’m not looking to drown today take what i give, cut me down for giving (forgiving) scrubbing myself down and out and crying like a dying bird living judas kamikaze dying in a field of kisses i’m not giving up on anyone but i’m afraid of everything these days my leaves are turning golden quicker than they’re growing green north of the collapsing lung of civility and half-step measures, i might be a sinking island, maybe i’m just… visiting i am not a person, i am just a nerve that’s shot, i’m not looking for god– i’m apologizing to her anyway take my fruit or take my fingers take my roots or strip away what lingers take my branches and take my bones take my sap and burn down my home but i’m not looking to drown today but i’m not looking to drown today but i’m not looking to die today but i can’t help but dream of it take what i give, cut me down–
3.
chestnut sky fields of rotten things ruins of harbour walls and richter’s fineries rapture in blue eye seagull hovering some kind of end is nigh– what kind of person’s singing? all these paper straws are gonna dissolve biodegrade me, baby tie a plastic bag around my neck see what you get, see what you– i don't wanna die i don't wanna die like this but i dream about it tenderize the bruises and bad news i’ve still never been to a party tell me i’m too young to be so old great wide west in gold, we’re weeping at the end of the world, you said, “‘cause we’ll never afford to live here”, we’ll never afford to live here all these paper straws are gonna dissolve just like me tie a plastic bag around my neck see what you get, see what you– i don't wanna die i don't wanna die like this but i dream about it i still dream… why am i even going to college why am i even going to college why am i even going to college why am i even going to college why even bother with 5 year plans? what if we died here, what if it’s tomorrow? what a luxury, to have a career ‘cause we’ve given up on futures and we’re living on fear please god, someone strike gomorrah down– not me, i’ve got plans, oh god i wish i had any plans instead i’m at college, sleeping through class why am i even trying at all, leaving notes for historians, wondering where it all went wrong i don’t know how not to get it all wrong why am i even going to college why am i even going to college why am i even going to college death’s last devotee, i’ll pack up my things cans of water in the basement; what if i’m addicted to living? don’t let the ground go tumbling crowd the fault lines, hands gripping tell me how to be prepared for this one i don’t wanna die i don’t wanna die like this but i dream about it i still dream
4.
Gaia 05:08
i’ll damn the man who tries to walk me i’ll damn the man who climbs the moon a sucker caught up on a feeling colonize me, won’t you? i didn’t adopt this dog (she crawled into my bed in the night) but i’ll be damned if i’ll let her die (in some clean white room, where she can’t see the sky) wonder how i’m doing lately (giving my heart to what shames me) she would crack my bones if they were charred i’ll end it soon i’ll end it soon i’ll damn the man who tries to touch me while i cannot see i’ll damn the man who cries for mothers i’m not supposed to be i’ll damn the man who tries to fuck me – i’ll get him good this time i don’t want this anymore (i’m rooted to the mantle core, this is) mutually assured destruction (watching, blank, the dog’s not coming home) my ridges black, my plates converging (reap and sow and trim me daily) i’ll grow green and wild once you’re gone i’ll end it soon i’ll end it soon i’ll end it soon i’ll end it soon one step, one step for mankind, one step, one step for mankind, one step, one step for mankind, etc. (i’ll end it soon..) i didn’t adopt this dog (she crawled into my bed in the night) now she’s sleeping on the moon i’ll end it soon i’ll end it soon… (“And our efforts were rewarded once overcoming rightlessness and darkness by forging blazing wings To our Nation And the age of ours!”)
5.
Alberta 04:30
we swallowed bees, and other things i had been unaware of we climbed up glaciers that weren’t there a while later talk to your dad about the way you like your coffee creamer; i’ll wish my name was robespierre and i was dead in paris i’ll invest in oil i’ll invest in oil everything was eroding when we said goodbye without knowing you’ll make yourself a fine life and i’ll get by on my own, ‘cause you’re a mountain pine beetle, and i’m a cedar, sheltering everything erodes: don’t touch me, i think my skin might fall right off the bone i’ll invest in oil i’ll invest in oil in athabasca, where the mountains blister black i’ll send messages through pipelines cutting bloody ‘cross the country’s back leave it better than you found it, oh, by now you’ll be some grey man’s creature we climbed up glaciers pooling where you placed your daring feet
6.
he's got the whole world in his hands he's got the whole wide world in his hands he's got the whole world in his hands he's got the whole world in his hands he’s got the wind and the rain in his hands he’s got the wind and the rain in his hands he’s got the wind and the rain in his hands he’s got the whole world in his hands he's got the birds in the air in his hands he's got the whales in the sea in his hands he's got you and he's got me in his hands he's got the whole world in his hands he’s got your life and mine in his hands he’s got your life and mine in his hands he’s got the lives of all the living in his hands he’s got the whole world in his hands he's got everybody here in his hands he's got everybody here in his hands he's got everybody here in his hands he's got the whole world in his hands

about

An album about the existential horror of climate change, giving up the ghost, and waiting on the world to end.

credits

released October 4, 2020

Thanks to Isla for lending a voice on Gaia. And to you, for listening!

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Like The Weather Vancouver, British Columbia

22. watching the world burn

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